Cats and their Conundrums

You may be surprised to learn that my life as a domestic cat can be quite vexing at times and full of difficult decisions.

On waking I have to decide whether to stretch my back legs first or my front. Then there is the delicate matter of where to hide to avoid being pushed out into the cold and rain to do my – ahem – ablutions! Under the stairs did the trick for months on end but since that’s been rumbled I need to find another hiding place. If only the airing cupboard door wasn’t kept so firmly shut.

Once outside it is imperative that I avoid that moggie from next door who insists on doing his  - business - in my own garden. The very cheek of it! The village has not been the same since he moved in.

I have to remember the last time I returned home with a little ‘present’ and what it was. I think mice are preferable to birds, although both seem to provoke huge excitement, especially if they’re still alive, but either seems acceptable. Judging by all the shouting and waving of arms, my efforts on that front really are appreciated. I find one a week generally sufficient, although if I’m feeling generous I sometimes up that to two.

Next I have to choose my cutest, plaintive meow to be performed on the birdbath by the lounge window to ensure I can return to the warmth of the house as soon as possible. If I’m too quick off the mark, I’ll be ignored for not having been out long enough but too slow and I’ll freeze or get soaked or, worse still, both. Heaven forbid that no one is home and I’m out all day!

Sooner or later someone will get up, open the back door and whistle – as if I need any encouragement – which is my cue to race across the front garden, down the side of the house, past the car and inside before the door is shut again.

Once back inside, it should be time for breakfast but it’s not always served as promptly as it should be so my repertoire of reminders now gets brought into play. Incessant rubbing against legs, jumping on laps and treading or playing with a toy mouse generally does the trick and before long we’re heading for the kitchen.

I think the penny has finally dropped that my favourite is Vitalin Adult Cat food.  Now I’m grown up I have a choice; Vitalin Adult Cat British Chicken or Vitalin Adult Cat Scottish Salmon. Both have been carefully formulated as nutritionally complete and balanced so it all depends on what meat I fancy at each meal. It’s a tough part of my day to look after my health and wellbeing but I do look forward to it. I can buy it for £10.99 for 1.5kg.

With breakfast over there’s the next conundrum – where to lie down for a snooze. On the bed or in front of the fire? Decisions, decisions!

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